PK Thunderlings
by ladylezelia
Summary: If someone ever reads this, just remember. Never put a unstably angry swordsman and two psychokinetic kids- one's a smartass and one's a shy one- together. Unless you wanna go through the hell called the Smash Mansion. And if anyone asks, tell them Toon Link sent you.
1. Prologue

**I do not own any characters from the Super Smash Brothers franchise.**

**Warning: Massive OOC! Sorry!**

_Hello. My name's Toon Link._

_Right now, I got locked in the 'closet of shame' by Princess Zelda with the 'notebook of shame' for what seems like the millionth time. The damned woman could have at least gotten me the orange juice I wanted._

_So.. I have to record my 'evil doings' now. But I'm just gonna write this._

_This is the story of my friends, Lucas, Ness, and I. They're the ones with psychokinesis, PK, but I still have my Four Sword and Master Sword, so that counts as magic- right?_

_People say I'm mischievous, unlike my older incarnation. His name is just plain old Link. They say he's more of a go-to guy. I can see where they get that from. Haven't you play Twilight Princess or something? Not even the original Zelda?_

_But, back to the topic, Lucas, Ness, and I were always teased. It made us weak; all of those cruel words coursing through your brain. Who wouldn't feel weak from that?_

_..._

_We weren't that bad, though._

_Nana and Popo, fraternal twins known as the Ice Climbers, said they looked up to our strength in heart. When Lucas heard that, he started breaking down. Poor kid. Ness and I agreed he got affected the most._

_People said he was the worst out of the three of us. Said he kept running from fights. Couldn't fight properly. They said he was worse than Olimar, and that guy doesn't even fight on his own._

_So, Ness tried to stand up for Lucas. Didn't do crap, though. They started hooking him with insults. He used to be all 'organized and proposed', kinda secluded. Had his whole life ahead of him planned out. Now he's goin' through shit._

_I was last to join the Thunderlings. The first time I saw Lucas and Ness being harassed, the harasser was Ike. To tell you the truth, I was surprised. I thought he was a good guy. He treated me to a sundae at Chick-Fil-A once, and I'm pretty sure that counts as nice._

_At first, I just stood there, omitting to do anything. Then, I sprinted to Master Hand's office. Bat-shit crazy Hand didn't do anything. So I did what I do best._

_I snapped._

_Master Hand locked my sword away after my battles, but what's he got, eyes on the back of his... hand? Haha. No._

_I crept into his office slowly and carefully and sprinted past his desk as quickly as possible. He had a file cabinet tucked away in the very back of the office. Sure, enough, it was in there, right in my file._

_I got the Master Sword out, rather than any of my other ones, and exited out the back. The infirmary was in the back, and that was where the therapy sessions and mental institutions were, too- so he'd just believe I was visiting over there... most likely._

_As I passed by one of the Hands, I tried my best to wave casually. It looked a lot more like a wooden plank flapping itself up and down. It didn't matter, though; he still waved back. Although, he wiggled his fingers as he did so. So, I corrected my self. It was Crazy Hand in there... no wonder._

_"What'cha gonna do about it? Huh? Stand up for yourselves?" I remember Ike's cruel taunts as he held Ness's hat high above his head. I could feel myself grinding my teeth, a bad habit I'd do when I was frustrated. Lucas must've seen me coming, for he'd started tapping Ness rapidly pointing in my direction. Ness gazed over at me. He stopped reaching for his hat._

_"What'cha stop reachin' for your hat for, dipshit? You finally giving up? Ha. Puny."_

_"I'll show you the real definition of puny if you don't put my friend's freaking hat down, asshole."_

_That month, Ike had been suspended from all the tournaments and spent every hour in the infirmary with Dr. Mario and Mewtwo. I didn't pity him (even if he got me a sundae). I laughed. Right in his face. Got him a ton of broken bones, a sprained foot, and some deep gashes. Peach brought lunch to him everyday. Sucks, for me, too, though. I had to stay either in my room or the mental institute._

_I picked my room._

_You could say everything got Master Hand level of bat-shit crazy when the PK Thunderlings formed. A get together of independence, strength, and freedom, I suppose. I don't know who would come up with such a horrific idea, but all I know is..._

_If someone ever reads this, just remember. Never put a unstably angry swordsman and two psychokinetic kids- one's a smartass and one's a shy one- together. Unless you wanna go through the hell called the Smash Mansion. And if anyone asks, tell them Toon Link sent you_

"I can't write anymore. My fingers hurt waaaay too bad. And I still don't have my OJ!" Toon Link grumbled as he slammed the helpless laptop closed.

**I hope you liked it ;D**


	2. A Malicious Twist to a Renowned Beauty

**I do not own any characters from the Super Smash Brother franchise.**

_**Note: This has been edited!**_

_It felt... unexpected. In some strange way, y'know?_

_Ness said we were having some sort of apocalypse. I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not. Lucas just laughed. I smirked. _

Breakfast was meek today, as always. It's been that way ever since January- Peach's lemonade doesn't even taste right. It's bitter as crap. Literally.  
There was a different part of the cafeteria in the Smash Mansion. Snake said it was like some sort of black market for food. And of course, none other than Kirby ran it. None other.

"Alright, think you can handle the jar, Ness?" I asked Ness, pointing to the jar full of food ranging from cookies to small cups of pudding. Ness laughed.

"Of course," he replied. Lucas watched him intently as he put his first two fingers on his temple and closed his eyes. "And three... two..." I looked at the jar. It was starting to tip, and Peach was inattentive so far.

"One."

The jar crashed to the ground, making the beautifully sculpted clay it was used to make shatter.

"Oh, that's the eighth one this month," Peach groaned, turning around to clean the pieces up.

"Now. GO!" Ness pulled Lucas and I dashed in front of them. We took a right in the kitchen and the soft yellow pastel walls slowly faded to an ebony the further we went. As we descended down the hall, the bright glow of the flames underneath Kirby's large curry pot drifted into sight. Rather than being welcomed by Kirby's beaming smile and Snake's sickening cigarette smoke, there was no Kirby and only Smake leaning against the wall with a cigarette in his mouth. Next to him were three plates, each with a sausage biscuit and a fried egg on it.

"What the hell, Snake? Where's the curry?" Snake ran a hand through his slowly whitening brown hair frustratedly.

"Peach found out and snitched on us," Snake replied, growling lowly. "And hello to you too. Damn, you kids are getting old." That was true; a year had passed quickly. He chuckled. "Thirteen and you're already cussing your old man out."

"Where's Kirby?" Ness questioned. Snake frowned.

"Master Hand shut him off in his room like a package being sent out." His growl was louder than the last. "Bastard..."

"Great," I hissed. "Just great."

Lucas laughed. "Sorry, Mr. Snake. These two are just upset about not getting their curry." Indeed, Ness and I were upset. I threw my beloved hat on the ground and stomped on it and Ness folded his arms and was grumbling like a teenage girl who hadn't gotten her way.  
"Go eat, you two," Snake shoved Ness and I towards the back of the room where the tables were. "Say, kid, aren't you gonna go... well, eat?"

**Third-Person POV**

Lucas hung his head as he gripped his plate tightly. "M-Mr. Snake? Are we going to... die?"

"Okay, kid. I know you're all depressed and stuff but-"

"Are we going to die?" Lucas's black eyes that were tinged blue showed signs of fear. Snake kneeled down to his height level.

"Now, could you explain to me really quick why we would die?" Snake snickered. He put out his cigarette.

"Well... Mrs. Zelda is listening to punk rock music, and Mr. Ike is bullying people, and Kirby is gone, a-and Toon Link sleeps in fetal position at night with his Picori Sword under his mattress, and-"

"Okay, kid. A bit too much there," Snake glanced back at Toon Link with his brow furrowed. "Look... just because things are changing, doesn't mean we're gonna die, okay?" Lucas smiled and nodded.

Little did Snake know that he was very, very wrong.

**Toon Link's POV**

So.. Ike harassed us again. But he wasn't alone.  
Behind him stood a smirking Princess Zelda. Her beautiful golden tendrils had been dyed a dull brown. She'd been wearing a white camisole under a black blazer, a pleated black skirt, stockings, and short boots. Her gloves were cut fingerless and dyed black.

I knew something was up. So Ness, Lucas and I visited someone we least expected we'd visit.

Marth Lowell, the prince of Altea.

He'd just learned our lingo, thanks to Samus and Link, and spoke English quite well now. He was a nobleman. And I figured, if he was, he'd know some skills. He did. He's gained my respect in a day, that man. Amazing.  
As I saw in the battles, Marth could literally pull anything off. He could kill Meta Knight four times without getting above thirty percent in damage, counter the Ice Climber's chain grab, and read a book calmly with a pissed as hell Samus in the same room kicking someone's ass. He's our idol, I swear it.

So, y'know, of course someone that great should be able to be the Phoenix Wright of the Smash Mansion or something. So, Ness, Lucas, and I paid him a visit.  
Marth's dorm was tidy, just as I suspected. The walls were a dark sapphire blue and had white carpeting. The walls were lined with bookshelves and the bed, which was quite large, was in the corner with a small nightstand with an iPhone on it to the left of it and a window to the right of it. There was a desk between one of the bookshelves. A lamp with a rectangular black lampshade was on top of it along with a few papers and a mug filled with pencils. There was a computer chair pushed into it. Lastly, there was a small flatscreen TV with a Wii beside it and a bean bag in front of it in the opposing corner of the bed.

"Damn. I'd love to have this room..." I heard Ness whisper. I grinned.

Lucas walked over to one of the bookshelves. "Where's Marth? Samus and Link said he always eats his lunch in his room." He asked nobody specifically with a quizzical expression.

I shrugged, but laughed. "I have no clue, but I know how to bust some time." Ness arched his brow and Lucas tilted his head.

**Oo Two or Three Hours Later oO**

Marth entered his room casually with his nose in a book like he always did when he entered a room. He looked up from the pages, however; he must've heard Ness and I playing as ourselves in Super Smash Brothers on his Wii and Lucas's ear-splitting loud chews as he munched on Cheetos. I had a glob of mustard dangling from the corner of my mouth from the sandwich I'd just had and Ness spilled some Coke on his shirt.

"How the hell did you guys get in here?" Marth yelled.

"Already in the swearing section of your English dictionary, Marth, now are you?"

"Shut up." Marth slammed the butt of his katana's hilt into my forehead. "Now, can you just tell me why you're in my room?"

Lucas had put down his Cheetos and hadn't looked up from the _Animal Crossing City_ _Folk_ case he was examining. "We needed to ask you something."

"And how did lolling around in my room eating my food help you achieve this?"

"We had nothing better to do, for your information." I piped up, placing my hands on my hips dramatically, shaking my head for more effect. I got an extra hit to the head because of this.

"If that's how it's going to be, remember this moment when you wake up late and there's no breakfast left for you." He laughed cruelly at our reactions.

"Alright, alright. Just get down to business, alright?" Ness interrupted me as I began to say 'Douche bag'.

I straightened up. "Alright, whatever. We need you to help us investigating something."

Marth closed his book. "Something like... what?"

**CLIFFHANGER! ;D**

**Okay, I'm just kidding. Globbles, people.**

OoOoOo

Marth examined Ike and Zelda as Ike pushed Olimar aside and Zelda stepped on all of his Pikmin.

"Yes... It is quite peculiar," he admitted, crouching lower behind the towering potted plant. I wiggled around behind him. Usually, I couldn't sit still this long. It was torture.

"Toon Link!" Lucas's voice interrupted my small train of thought. "T-there are people exiting the cafeteria through the back door! Get Ness, hurry!" His voice came out of the walkie talkie attached to my belt. I pressed a small button on the device without looking down.

"Ness, you there?" Without taking time to confirm his presence, I added, "There are targets heading your way. Turn them around."

"Got it." Ness said back. I smirked to myself. Then tapped Marth's shoulder.

"Lucas, Ness, and I are sending Smashers down to pass by Ike and Zelda. Hopefully someone will come." I informed. As if on cue, Captain Falcon moseyed through giddily. He stopped and watched Ike and Zelda, who were standing side by side stepping on Olimar's helmet, curiously. Then, he walked over to them and without warning, Falcon Punched them through the wall.

"Stay beautiful, citizens. And keep Falconing." He hummed _We Can't Stop_ by _Miley_ _Cyrus_ as continued to the cafeteria, carrying a startled Olimar who droned, "I feel so violated..."

"Ouch," I murmured. I heard Marth laugh.  
"The problem is obvious," he stated. "And the solution is simple."

**Cliffhanger**

**I tried my best to make it long. I hope I did well. ;-;**


	3. Of Cat Fights and Cores

**PK chapter three  
Warning: Do not be deceived by the contents of this chapter! I do not hate Zelda. (I actually adore playing as her). You will find out why she's acting like this in this chapter. So enjoy! ;D**

* * *

"I'm not really that much of a slut, am I?"

It was a statement Samus didn't mean to wonder aloud. The Hylian swordsman beside her smiled, plopping his signature green hat down on his nightstand. Samus began to fumble with the buttons on her suit to remove it while reading fanfiction of her on her iPhone with her free hand. The suit slowly warped off, revealing her infamous light blue skin tight jumpsuit and dark blue boots and gloves that hugged her tightly.

"Don't worry, Sam! I'm sure they're just jeal-"

"Because if people think I really am, I will chain them to a pole and feed them personally to Ridley. And I don't even like that guy." ...Yep. Totally not a bitch.

Samus closed her phone, which was an iPhone 5c that matched her Zero Suit, and slammed it down on Link's mattress. She lied down with her head in Link's lap. "You think they're serving shrimp for lunch?"

"Sam, they haven't served that in five years."

"Point taken," Samus remarked. She closed her eyes. Link messed with her scrunchy.

"Link, Samus, I need your-" Marth barged into the room, not bothering to knock like he usually did. A sly smirk bloomed onto his face. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Nope," Samus replied lazily. She didn't bother paying attention to the smartass attitude he'd used as he spoke. "What'cha need now, Lowell?"

"Just follow me. I'm not sure if Link would want to see this, but he can come if he chooses to," Marth walked out the room without waiting for the two. Samus hopped up and followed, muttering, "Finally, I got crap to do." Link trudged after them.

* * *

"That's... quite peculiar."

"That's what I said!" Marth grinned.

"The hell is Zelda doing?" Link asked nobody specifically. He watched the brunette pour a pitcher of lemonade down Peach's dress. "And is someone going to stop her?"

Marth shrugged. "I think it would be best if we didn't and confronted her instead." Samus let out a 'pfft' and laughed.

"Ha! Confront. Ha. You're funny Lowell," she chuckled. "This is how you friggin' do it." She pushed herself up using Marth and Link's heads as support.

"Hey, Zelda! Stop bein' a bitch, bro!" Samus shouted across the cafeteria. Zelda's head snapped around and she put down the lemonade pitcher in a startled Peach's hands.

"Shut up, slut! Nobody cares," Zelda argued. "Damned tramp."

If Samus's eyes were daggers and if Zelda noticed the icy glare she was giving her, she would've been dead in seconds.

The words circling Samus's brain were indeed the words 'slut' and 'tramp'. Link and Marth backed up a little as she stomped forward, with only her plasma whip in hand and her arm cannon around her right arm, which had quickly stored a blast.

"Cat fight!" Toon Link laughed as he watched Samus kick Zelda's ass. Literally. Zelda used Farore's Wind to teleport behind her, grabbed her hair and tugged at it, and began shocking her with her magic.  
As Samus hit the wall, Lucas's brow furrowed. Zelda ran up to her and kicked her sides cruelly.

"Ignorant little bitch," Lucas whispered. Ness heard him and gasped.  
"SAMUS! THE CHOZO DIDN'T RAISE NO LOSER! SO KICK THAT PMS-ING BIATCH'S ASS!" Lucas stood on his chair and screamed at Samus. Somehow, the scream encouraged the bounty huntress, getting her to push the bewitched princess off of her. She flipped her plasma whip into her paralyzer and paralyzed her long enough to blast her with the arm cannon.

"Thanks for the interception, boys!" Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Samus had jumped over Zelda's head, winking and blowing a kiss to the three boys in the process. Lucas waved back eagerly.

Samus roundhouse kicked Zelda's abdomen then slammed her foot on the Hylian's head, making her drop to the ground. She somersaulted over the downed Hylian and ran towards the entrance where Marth and Link were, her head turned to the trio of boys.

"You comin'?" Samus smirked as Toon Link, Ness, and Lucas dashed after her.

"Isn't she just gonna get back up and hurt people?" Ness questioned as he ran. Samus shook her head, snickering.  
"I put a whole bunch of gooey bombs on her," she responded, dashing in front of the five behind her.

"Wait for me!" Link sprinted after her.

An explosion erupted in the cafeteria, and out of the smoke stepped a somewhat unharmed Zelda. She was sprinting as fast as she usually would when she was Sheik.

"Shit, shit, shit! She's coming!" Samus cried.

"You can't escape me! Especially after I tell Master Hand," Zelda shouted.  
Samus laughed. "NEWS FLASH, HONEY! This is the 2013 Smash Mansion, not the 1990 Smash Mansion. FAAAAIL, bro!" Marth high fived her. "Toon Link, Link! Got any Deku nuts?" She caught the Deku nuts they tossed her.

"DEUCES!"

Zelda choked on the smoke left from the Deku nuts, fanning the smoke away.

"Dammit! They're gone," she said. She turned on her heel and stomped off.

* * *

The attic of the Smash Mansion was pitch black and smelled highly of must. The room, everywhere, was littered with dust.  
Toon Link, Samus, and Marth crept by a silent Jigglypuff who was sitting in one of the corners eating an expired chocolate bar.

"That is wrong on so many levels," Toon Link said.

"We've no time to look, we have to hurry to the center of the attic," Marth commanded. "Let's go."

Meanwhile, with Link, Ness, and Lucas, Ness was chain grabbing Link as the Ice Climbers on Super Smash Brothers and Lucas was playing with Marth's iPhone.

Now, back with Toon Link, Samus, and Marth, the three tiptoed through the creepy attic. Despite their light steps, the floorboards creaked heavily like Bowser was walking on them. This didn't catch their attraction, however; the faint blue glow in the distance did.

"There it is," Samus informed, turning to Marth. "That's what you were talking about, right, Lowell? The Smash Mansion's Center Core?"

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. If you're wondering what the hell the Center Core has to do with anything, it's basically why Ike and Zelda are acting like douche bags. :D**


	4. A Tiny Toon Link and a Pact of Pikmin

**PK Chapter four**

**PLEASE READ  
Warning: Slight self harm involved. I will mark the scene with OoOoOoOo so you will know what to skip :)**

_"Go, don't worry about us. Just_ _go!"_

* * *

Those same words were constantly in my dreams and mind for three days straight. It didn't make sense; Samus and Marth sacrificed themselves to keep me safe. Why the hell would they do such a dumb thing? Such spectacular fighters sacrifice themselves for some ill-minded, mischievous, dumbass kid... Why not for someone else? They're always saying I have a shit-eating smirk, too, so how does that add to the situation, either?

What was it? Poverty? Reputation? I don't know. Someone freaking help my sorry ass.

"Toon Link, snap out of it," Ness slapped me lightly. "You're zoning out again."

I groaned, turning over on my bed so I was facing the wall. I closed my eyes, slowly letting sleep take over. I'd heard the door open as I began to drift asleep.

"Toon Link! Get up," I heard Lucas warn me. "We have to visit Sam and Marth." I groaned once more, my head sinking into my pillow.

I gripped the pillow like my life depended on it. To me, it kind of did, but I'm sure it didn't matter to Lucas and Ness. They were both morning people.

"It's only six, guys," I snapped.

Ness laughed. "That's what you said five hours ago. It's eleven."

"I don't give a shit," I rolled onto my back. "Let me sleep."

I cringed as I replayed Lucas' statement in my head. _'Sam and Marth.'_

"Look, Toon Link, if you're still upset, we'll leave you alone, okay?" Lucas elbowed Ness. "Right?"

Ness sighed and nodded, walking away out the door with Lucas. Toon Link rolled back onto his stomach, his mind seemingly taunting _'Samus. Marth. Samus. Marth. Samus. Marth.'_

I rolled out of bed and walked to my clothes drawer, pulling out my usual attire and changing into it. I put on my boots and walked out into the hallway.

There was an elevator at the end of the hallway, where Lucario and Kirby's room was. I tapped the button to open it and waited a minute before the doors slowly slid open. I walked in and pressed the button marked 5th floor.  
Marth's room was just around the corner. I pushed the door open slowly. No traces of Marth. I opened his nightstand drawer. Inside lay his iPhone with a sticky note on it.

'Toon Link.

If you find this, use it.

Signed, Marth Lowell'

* * *

That damned camera foiled my plans like Scooby Doo and a villain.

It was solar powered and right in front of Master Hand's office. It could channel to every room. At night, Master Hand would turn the lights on so it would stay powered, which meant he would be turning the lights on soon. I knew I'd have to stop the lights and the camera someh—shit, the lights are on.

I held Marth's iPhone as steady as possible and took a picture of everything that surrounded the camera while hiding in the shadows. I climbed up the ladder beside it and placed the phone in front of the camera so Master Hand would believe the camera was still working.

I took out my boomerang and threw it at the lights. They shattered and broke as soon as it came in contact with the boomerang. I then took my sword out and sliced the camera in two.

I hurried to the other side of the wall and pulled the emergency latch. I took a mushroom out of my backpack and ate it quickly as the Brawlers began to evacuate the building in belief of a fire drill. Idiots.

I shrunk as I walked along with the other Brawlers.

"Where the hell is that damned Hand?" I growled as I glanced around at the Brawlers walking out the building.

"Over there."

"Hey, thanks, ma-BWOASHIT." I drew my hand back as I stared into the beady eyes of a pact of Pikmin. "You talk?"

A red Pikmin rolled its eyes before nodding. "Well duh," he mocked. "How else do we follow Sir Captain Patrolman Ranger Ultimate Ruler King Olimar of the Super Mega Extremely Extraordinary Awesome?"

"It's just Olimar," I added. The red Pikmin slapped me.

"So.. Um... what's your names?" The Pikmin guided me to Master Hand and hopefully Marth and Samus, and I decided to make a little eye contact and conversation and such.

"I'm Red, like the Pokémon trainer," the red Pikmin greeted. "The yellow one is Yellow, and the blue one is Blue, and the white one is White, and the purple one is Purple."

I raised an eyebrow at their extremely _'creative' _names. "My name is—"

"Toon Link."

"Right. Can we just hurry to Master Hand?"

"Of course." The Pikmin pulled me up on top of them and sprinted to Master Hand. "Here we are. If you don't mind, could we assist you in your adventure? Sir Captain Patrolman Ranger Ultimate Ruler King Olimar of the Super Mega Extremely Extraordinary Awesome ran out of cookies." I nodded.

Marth and Samus weren't too far from Master Hand. The Pikmin formed a ladder so I could climb into Marth's pocket, and they climbed up with me.

* * *

"Some bastard pulled the emergency latch," Master Hand growled. He threw Marth and Samus in a cage in the corner. "Get in there, you pathetic fools."

Master Hand zapped Marth and Samus with lasers in his fingertips. I watched silently. I tried to move my arm, but my body wouldn't allow me. I felt tears tinge my eyes.

'This is all my fault,' I thought. 'All of it.'

**OoOoOoOo**

I unsheathed my sword and, without thinking, cut my wrist. Just cut and cut and cut, absentmindedly, not minding the pain. I watched dark red blood stream out of the cuts. I smirked wickedly.

"Sir Toon Link!" Red and Yellow cried. "You must stop!" The Pikmin coiled around the hilt of my sword and pulled it away. That's when things took a turn for the worst.

The sword cut my chest, and I began bleeding even more.

"Shit," I murmured. "This hurts."

**OoOoOoOo**

The Pikmin circled me as I felt myself slowly black out. "Stay alive, Sir Toon Link!" I slowly fell unconscious. "Stay..."


End file.
